we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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