I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
