She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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