I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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