okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
