Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
