Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
