haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
