i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize