So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
