Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I did not marry a roomba.
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