Your face is a jimmy john
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
