rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
