just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I touched a dick in church today
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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