Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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