vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
