Sry I called you an 8
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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