If i come over, it means nothing
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
