69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
