Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry helenoftroy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

Fav 18 1695 1139
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny

Fav 11 930 4451
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

Fav 4 856 4203
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

Fav 53 8265 1001
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.

Fav 8 1024 6033
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision

Fav 12 7137 1467
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.

Fav 14 1857 4206
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(264): View more from Anguilla

I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.

Fav 9 2269 1037
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie

Fav 2 734 427
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT