Sponge bath it is.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
