this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
