Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize