just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
