Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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