Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want to make out with him forever
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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