My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
