who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just found puke in my bra..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
