i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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