Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize