i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
