Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
