Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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