2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
