Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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