id be glad to
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
