Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
