Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
