shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
