and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
love makes seman taste better
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
