cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
