READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
