I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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