Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just sucked dick on a ferry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
