apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
