I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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