hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
