either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
