he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
