I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
