just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize