why didn't you poke me back
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
