so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
