Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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