vagina is talking i cant
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
