I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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