that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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