started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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