VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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