theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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