Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
