one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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