Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Come on in and take your pants off
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
