I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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