I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
