And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
